Ten Reasons That Twilight Is Better? I think not
by HarryPotterHedgehog
Summary: Annnnnnd I'm back, and ready to bash! Here we have a lovely bipolar person stealing reasons from other people. Read on for my comments! I do believe that this one has a bit more humor than the others, if you're into that sort of thing. R&R! :


**Hey everyone, I'm back and ready to rant. So I found a list of 10 reasons why Twilight is better than Harry Potter. No worries, I'm here to save the day and smack some sense into people. Hurray.(: Assuming I can get through what this person typed…stay with me here. Thanks much! [Remember, everything {besides this AN} that **_**isn't**_** written by me is in bold.]**

**1. Because its just common sence to like twilight! Haha. Romance means everything. Bella and Edward are like, MENT 4 each other, and everything is just... PERFECT! In Harry potter, u would that that harry and harmonie would like... fall in love or something... and then u watch people die in freaky ways, and then there creepy things...GAHH! but yea. (:**

No, it isn't common "sence" to like Twilight. Common sense is to stay far, far away. Romance doesn't mean everything, there are plenty of single, happy, successful people in our society. Bella and Edward are meant [ment?] for each other because that's the way the author intended it to be. Also, how can you "like" be meant foro someone? Either you are or you aren't. Anyway, I'm not sure if being eaten is ideal…but…whatever floats your boat. [Wow, I really, _really_ love that phrase] Next sentence: In Harry potter, u would that. What does that even mean? Harry and Hermione [what is this harmonie crap, anyway?] would like fall in love or something? And Twilight fans accuse HP fans of not reading the books. Hermione loves Ron, you twit. And then you watch people die in freaky ways…The only way I saw anyone die was the Killing Curse [Avada Kedavra], which really isn't even that unpleasant. Creepy is in the third book, when Edward Darling and Seth the Wolfy dismember a vampire, then burn the remains. Gahh, but yea? There is no hope for you people, no hope.

**2.  
I think the Twilight Series are way better than Harry Potter cause basically when you read the books you become addicted to them and you cant seem to find the strenght to put them down. When reading the series you understand fully the concept of the story and you even dream and think about these characters. I am a Bella and Edward fan, i so freaking love them. The love Edward professes for bella is so deep it seems ridiculous. Words fail to explain how i really feel about the Twilight Series. I dont think they are badly written either, i think they are written so anyone can read and understand without the use of your dictionary which would cut the excitement of reading if u cant understand what u read (Not everyone can pick up the meaning of a word as to the sentence or paragraph). I love all the Cullens Carlisle, Alice etc.I am such a fan of the Series that i've actually read all the books around 5 times already and watched the Movie around 10 times. I especially love Eclipse and Breaking Dawn; the romance is so ecstatic. I could never feel this way about Harry Potter books cause honestly they are boring. I like the Movies though but i dont really like the last movie when dumbledor died.**

And your problem starts with the first words: "I think". This is your _opinion_, not valid reasons. Anyway**…"when you read the books you become addicted to them and you cant seen to find the strength to put them down". **I read all seven Harry Potter books in a week. After spending an hour finishing the fourth, I went right to my bookshelf to start the fifth for another hour. If that isn't captivating, then I don't know what it. "When **reading the series you understand fully the concept of the story and you even dream and think about these characters."** I actually do _not_ understand the concept. To me, the plot looks like this:

Twilight: Bella meets Edward. Edward is bad for Bella. Bella loves Edward anyway. Bella almost gets killed. The live on happily [Darn it.]

New Moon: Jasper almost eats Bella. [The closest we ever get to a fight scene] Edward leaves. Bella becomes suicidal. Bella continues to be suicidal. Bella actually puts suicidal notions into place. Edward becomes equally suicidal. Bella saves Edward. They live on happily. [Kill them off, Meyer, will you?]

Eclipse: Bella loves Edward. Le gasp, Bella loves Jacob too. Bella is stalked by a bad, bad vampire. Jacob is sad because Bella picks Edward. Bella gets into an awkward situation with Jacob and Edward, her hormones cannot decide. Bella picks Edward for good. Edward kills icky bad vampire. Bella…still loves Edward. They live on happily.(I'm sensing a pattern. Why won't anyone _die_, create some tension?]

Breaking Dawn: Bella and Edward get married. Edward impregnates Bella. [Don't know how this one happened, seeing as Edward has no protein because he doesn't need it, protein is a main ingredient in DNA, and all living cells have DNA, so he couldn't even have sperm, let alone have "active" sperm.] Bella looks awful and gets beat up by her unborn child. Child is angry, because everyone thinks she's a boy. Bella gives horrible birth. Jacob begins to stalk Bella's child. [Named Renesme. I have…no comment.] A fight actually begins to loom. Shockingly enough, there is no fight. And…they live on happily.

Then again, I never dreamed of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer did though. She actually dreamed of the meadow scene, wrote it, wrote up to the end of the book from that, then went back and did the beginning. So theoretically, it should've gotten better from that point. Alas, there was no hope.

"**I am a Bella and Edward fan, i so freaking love them. The love Edward professes for bella is so deep it seems ridiculous. Words fail to explain how i really feel about the Twilight Series" **How, in any way, does this bloody explain how Twilight is "better" than Harry Potter? And yes, their "love" does seem ridiculous. Maybe because it is based on looks and smell, instead of actually knowing one's character. I'd say there were no words for my passion, but I really do like ranting about it, so I guess I'm wrong there.

**I dont think they are badly written either, i think they are written so anyone can read and understand without the use of your dictionary which would cut the excitement of reading if u cant understand what u read (Not everyone can pick up the meaning of a word as to the sentence or paragraph).**

And I don't care what you _think_. They aren't written so anyone can read them, either. Stephenie Meyer should be charged with first-degree Thesaurus Rape. Most people who read at least at a fourth grade level can use context clues, which I'm sure is what you're talking about in the parentheses.

**I love all the Cullens Carlisle, Alice etc.I am such a fan of the Series that i've actually read all the books around 5 times already and watched the Movie around 10 times. I especially love Eclipse and Breaking Dawn; the romance is so ecstatic.**

Oh, you love the Cullens? How cute. Why do we need to know the amount of times you've read the books? There isn't really any romance in Eclipse, and you just admitted to reading Breaking Dawn to get some kind of cheap thrill off of Bella and Edward's non-existent sex scene.

**I could never feel this way about Harry Potter books cause honestly they are boring. I like the Movies though but i dont really like the last movie when dumbledor died.**

You know, I found an excellent image that describes perfectly what your first sentence is about. It reads: "Twilight: For people who think having plots is so last year." Who cares if you like the movies or not? Most of them were actually in fact very well done. The sixth was an exception; they took a lot out and put unnecessary things in. The seventh was phenomenal, sticking very well to the actual books.

**3.: Because it's one of the greatest love stories ever! Harry Potter is good too, but Twilight has way more romance and more hot guys...EDWARD, JASPER, EMMETT, CARLISLE! Need I say more! :D**

Well, if love is what you're after, I suppose the way that Bella describes Edwards skin tone over, and over, and over, and over again could be considered love. And their chaste, chaste jaw kissing. Along with the fact that Harry Potter actually does have very attractive people acting in the movies. Which I'm sure you're referring to, as their looks has nothing to do with the actual book. Well, other than the fact that the only reason Bella noticed Edward in the first place was because she thought he was hot.

**'s Alice! Who wouldn't love to have Alice as a sister-in-law?**

Personally, me? Maybe that's just my opinion as a humble, non-obsessed child. But since she'd want to suck my blood at every opportunity, I just wouldn't feel safe around her. Coupled with the fact that The Twilight series has more "that's what she said"'s than _The Office_, I wouldn't want Alice making passes at me constantly. But that's just me.

**5. Yes, we all know that Harry Potter and Twilight are both fiction, but Twilight is clearly better. When I read a book, I like to imagine myself in the plot or relate to the story somewhat. Aside from the vampire theme, Twilight actually takes place in a REAL town with up to date things. ex) cars, school, etc. I'm sorry but I just can't picture myself on a flying train, eating chocolate covered frogs, headed to a non existent magical school. In my opinion, Twilight is obviously better.**

I don't believe that you wrote this. There is actually correct grammar and spelling. I also enjoy imagining myself in the _setting, _not the plot. Because you'd have to replace yourself with a character, etc, etc. Twilight, yes, does take place in a real town. It has "up to date things" like cars and _school?_ Aside from the summer and most of the seventh book, Harry Potter does take place at Hogwarts _**SCHOOL **_of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There are also cars in Harry Potter. It takes place in modern-day society, actually. Well, in the 1990's since Harry was born in 1979. The next sentence just proves how ignorant you are, and how while a lot of people who think HP is better than Twilight have actually read the Twilight books, many Twilighters have never read any of the HP books. The train doesn't fly. The frogs are entirely made of chocolate. And nobody said that Bella or Edward or Jacob's houses are actually real, either. Again, your opinion, not real reasons.

**6. OMGGG Harry POtter is messed up. Like seriusly, he needz to grow up and stop being so boring cuz edward is like waaaaaaaay more AMAZINNNG. therees no love in hary potter and nobodies hot who wants to read a book without hot peeps?**

Again, a totally different person writing. Unless, of course, you're schizophrenic, like Edward. Then it'd be okay with you, wouldn't it? He actually did grow up, seven years in fact. Again, there _is_ love in Harry Potter, and there are plenty of attractive people playing the characters in the movie.

**7.: Each book in the twilight series has a diifferent story line. It is mainly about Bella's Lovestory but in the 1st book it was about how Edward had to save Bella and in each book the story changes. The main reason of the book is for Bella To become A after that it is the story With Renesmee. In Harry Potter it takes 7 or 8 books to get to the the one who must not be named. it drags on and on and becomes boring.**

My big butt there's a different story line. In the first book, it wasn't "mainly" about Bella getting herself killed. It took Stephenie 382 pages to actually set the scene. (this is when they are in the Jeep, running away from James) James then proceeds to actually attack her on page 449. [I'm not kidding, I have a copy of Twilight open on my desk as I type this] Edward saves her on pages 456 by sucking the venom out.

**The main reason of the book is for Bella To become A after that it is the story With Renesmee**

Not even going to start on how many errors there are grammatically in that sentence. Which book are you referring to with the main reason? So the main reason for the books was Bella becoming a vampire? And look there, it only took 2068 pages to get there. Or 3 books and 387 pages of the fourth, whatever tickles your fancy. [another excellent phrase] I'll admit that the fourth book was mostly about Renesmee…which had nothing to do with the previous plots what-so-ever, so that was nearly two-thousand pages wasted. Tree killer.

**. In Harry Potter it takes 7 or 8 books to get to the the one who must not be named. it drags on and on and becomes boring.**

It takes 7 or 8? Again, it's either one or the other! Another point of your ignorance! If you'd read _any_ of the books, you'd know that there are 7 parts of HP. Killing he who must not be named [Also known as Voldemort, you idiot.] is only a _main _, in the actual terms of permanently making and effort to kill him as the way you would chop someone's head off, is only a plot in the seventh book. I'm sorry if using subtle for shadowing

Twilight :At Twilight, it's revealed that Edward Doodle is a vampire.

New Moon: Edward leaves.

Eclipse: Jacob can't fight an eclipse.

Breaking Dawn: The dawn breaks, and so does Bella's water.

Unfortunately for Harry Potter, like most well written literature, there is a clear, concise topic. On most grading rubrics, if you're supposed to be talking about why you should wear a biking helmet, and you suddenly state "I like gerbils", you're generally not applauded. You generally get a zero.

** has a more reasonable plot than Harry Potter. Look at Harry and you'll see he's more angsty than Bella. And all the Harry Potter books are like Harry being "My like sucks" and then Voldemort shows up and he's all like "I'm going to kill you" and Harry's all like "No way" and then Harry wins in the end. It's way obvious, especially when the author already tells you how many books there's going to be. I mean, why can't we live in total suspense on what's going to happen next? Twilight gives that suspense that something amazing is going to happen that Harry Potter never gave me. Plus, Harry Potter is a wizard and wizards are demonic creatures. Who would want to root for a demon as the good guys? In Twilight, everyone's a vampire, and vampires aren't Satan's spawn.**

How does Harry's being more angsty [not a word] than Bella relate to having a reasonable plot? Going out with a guy that would rather try to stuff you up one of his nostrils so he could scent you instead of having a real conversation with you doesn't seem reasonable. It seems stupid. And seriously, Bella is one of the most angst-ridden teenagers alive. I don't think I could be her if I tried. Take a look at this quote, taken directly from Twilight, this is Bella's narration about her depression in Forks.

"I wasn't in the mood to go on a real crying jag. I would save that for bedtime, when I would have to think about the coming morning" What the freaking he** is this?

"Sorry, everyone, I'm too lazy to cry right now. I'll just let a few, glistening tears escape me. Then, about an hour before bed, I'll stare off into space with tears welling in my eyes but _not_ letting them escape while my chin quivers silently. Right before I sleep, I'll sob hysterically, snot running off my nose and all. I'll wail like a demented creature of the night, never mind if it might wake Charlie up. At about eleven at night, two hours after I sleep, I'll wake myself up for some quite sniffling. Again at two in the morning, silently, I'll let tears gush out with the force of a fire extinguisher. I'll go back to sleep. At seven the next morning, I'll let tears run down my cheeks, off my chin, head bowed, into my cereal. Then I'll taste my salty sorrow on my Bran flakes. "

**And all the Harry Potter books are like Harry being "My like sucks" and then Voldemort shows up and he's all like "I'm going to kill you" and Harry's all like "No way" and then Harry wins in the end.**

Harry's like sucks? Sorry, don't know what you mean. And what's Bella doing for the first half of Twilight? Go read my form of what she said, I think it was pretty accurate. Voldemort shows up to kill Harry, multiple times in fact. But you weren't expecting it. Who thought Voldemort would be under Quirrel's turban? In the diary? In the grave yard? At the Ministry? The flight, in Godric's Hollow, and at Hogwarts?

**. It's way obvious, especially when the author already tells you how many books there's going to be. I mean, why can't we live in total suspense on what's going to happen next? Twilight gives that suspense that something amazing is going to happen that Harry Potter never gave me.**

Just before you were stating 7 or 8, which goes to the fact that one person couldn't even come up with this stuff on their own. Twilight gave me no suspense what so ever. Nothing amazing happened, other than the fact that Edward had sperm. Le gasp, he _was_ a male! And to think we could never really tell.

**Plus, Harry Potter is a wizard and wizards are demonic creatures. Who would want to root for a demon as the good guys? In Twilight, everyone's a vampire, and vampires aren't Satan's spawn.**

Wizard's are actually normally seen as people of light, as they aren't creatures. Sorcerers are usually the demonic ones. And you are an idiot. Most vampire myths stem from the re-incarnations of the devil, or of Lucifer's fall, which is the same thing.

** harry potter all they do is fly around on brooms and kill people with magic sticks (wands) I mean, really?**

They do much more than fly around on brooms. Bella's the one who would give everything to spend another minute with Edward. Again, this is the series.

Bella: Oh, Edward!

Edward: Oh, Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Jacob: Bella, love me!

Edward: Maybe you should, I'm bad for you!

Bella: But I love both of you! Maybe I'm a slut…

Bella: I choose Edward!

Jacob: cuts wrists.

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Edward!

Edward: Bella!

Renesmee: Renesmee!

Bella and Edward: sorry, even though we have a child, we're going to con tinue making out 24/7

THE END.

**10. Edward CUllen, need i say more?**

Yes, you need say more. Because I wouldn't want to date someone 90 years older than me. IT doesn't matter what he looks like, it's your real age. Like those women who are 50 but get plastic surgery and go out with 20 year guys. Its disgusting, and the sme thing that Twilight promotes. IF you're talking about Robert Pattinson, he doesn't wash his hair. You see Taylor Lautner in all of his shiny, tan glory. Then you see Rob, paler then Bella, with chest hair, stomach flopping around, hair bringin' back the beehive, and disproportionate nipples. So yes, no one really understand why you love him so much.

I do believe I got a little snarky there, haha! Review, please, and I'll be back with more soon! Those Twilighter posts aren't going to correct themselves, you know! Even though I think computers should naturally come with a block against that kind of type. And spellcheck. Tootle-loo!(:


End file.
